Avatar Characters Need Jesus
by Danyella413
Summary: I think it's pretty obvious the Avatar Characters are crazy. They all need mental help. They all need Jesus. The Characters of Avatar see a therapist but can he help them without them driving him crazy first? Crack Fic. Mentions of Canon Pairings. Beware of Language. My sad attempt at humor. Sorry I'm not Sorry.


**A/N: Okay, so I had this idea last night (at like, 11 pm lol) and said, hey, what if the Avatar Characters went to see a therapist? What if they showed all the crazy, sad, misunderstood sides of their personalities? And thus, this story was born. Some may think this story is dumb but I think it might be funny. Just my sad attempt at humor ! Hope you like! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Ugh, do I really need to? Okay, fine. I do not, under any circumstances, own Avatar: the Last Airbender.**

* * *

**_Avatar Characters Need Jesus_**

_Intro_

Doctor Whickerman took a seat in the room before him. He rolled his eyes at the set-up the room had. White walls, white floors, 2 chairs. One of which he had to sit on. He sighed.

"How much am I getting payed for this again Danyella?"He asked for what seemed liked the millionth time that day.

"I told you, you would get payed. It doesn't matter how much." Danyella answered as she handed him his clip board and pen.

"Remember, it's not about the money money money. We don't need your money money money. We just wanna make the world dance forget about the price tag. It ain't about the, uh, cha ching cha ching. Ain't about the, yeah, ba bling ba bling wanna make the world dance forget about the price tag-" Danyella was cut off by her singing by the very tired (and annoyed) doctor.

"Fine, whatever, just tell me what I have to do again." The doctor said as he sighed.

"Easy, just try and help the Avatar characters be less..._crazy._ Fair warning, they all need mental help so just know that. Just give them a short, easy therapy session that's all. Simple as pie."

"Actually, pie isn't that simple. It's a very complex dessert with multiple flavors. Key lime, apple, sweet potato, just to name a few. It requires a steady hand and delicate ingredients to make such a fine, delectable-"

"I get the point." Danyella snapped. "Just...don't be too rough with characters, okay? They all have some tragic back story and are very delicate."

"Here." Danyella said as she handed him a paper with all the character's names he would be 'helping' that day. "These are their names." She said.

The doctor took the paper and studied it closely. When he looked up Danyella was almost out the door. Before she exited, however, she said one last thing to him.

"Oh, and, try not to break the fourth wall, okay? Good luck!" She said as she exited the room.

A few moments later a girl was wheeled in his room. She had eyes as gold as the sun and hair darker than the night. Her lips were a scarlet red and her cold glare was locked on him. He felt shivers up his spine as she was rolled just a few feet in front of him. She had on a straight jacket, and the guard who was pushing her wheel chair checked the locks she had just about everywhere before mumbling a "Good luck" under his breath. When the guard exited the room, Whickerman studied the paper with names Danyella had given him before. As he looked upon the name he struggled to pronounce it.

"A-Azula?" The doctor said as he finally looked up. The girl's eyes went from cold glare to unforgiving daggers as she gave him a look that could kill.

* * *

_**Azula**_

"IT'S PRINCESS AZULA TO YOU, PEASANT!" she screamed at him. The doctor was scared, no, terrified. He looked as if he were about to pee his pants.

"Uh, right, well , uh _Princess_ Azula would you mind telling me why you're so upset-" The doctor was cut off by an ear-piercing scream.

"MOTHER SENT YOU HERE, DIDN'T SHE! SHE TOLD YOU I WAS INSANE! THAT I WAS CRAZY! JUST LIKE SHE TOLD THAT WATER TRIBE PEASANT HOW TO DEFEAT ME,HUH?! ISN'T THAT RIGHT?! ISN'T IT!" Azula once again screamed.

The doctor didn't even bother to answer because her ear-splitting screams were enough to wake the dead, and his feeble attempts to calm her wouldn't do much. But almost as quick as the screaming came, it was gone. And when Whickerman opened his eyes, he nearly fainted. Azula was no longer in a wheel chair and her straight jacket was gone. She wore a hat on her head and a long golden chain hung down her neck. She had a baggy sweat suit on, and dark glasses.

"Yo, yo, yo. It's Zula in the house. It's Zula in the house." She rapped as two other girls behind her started making a beat.

"Where did your straight jacked go? And the wheel chair? And who are they?" The doctor asked dumbfounded as he pointed to the two girls behind his patient.

And then, ignoring him, Azula started rapping about her life.

"I was supposed to be the Firelord, cause we all knew Zuko couldn't catch the Avatar, But Zuzu and his friend came knocking, announcing he's the boss while the clock was tik-tocking. So we started fighting and I thought would be the victor, But I figured, I need a distraction so I shot lightning at him. Zuko's reaction was lacking as he got hit, trying save the little waterbending twit. Of course though, she tried to heal him. But I said uh uh peasant, you ain't winnin'."

As Azula continued, Ty Lee and Mai started break dancing. "Who are you?!" the confused doctor cried. The only response he got in return was "Bunny rabbits" and "I'm bored".

"I tried to kill her, but she was to quick for me. Then she put chains on me to my mi-ser-y. I screamed my complaint, to the 'little saint'. The damn girl ignored me as she ran up to my brother, whatever hooker, I thought but all in naught, cause I knew I was seconds away from the end of my reign." Azula finished with an ending pose and a "We out".

In a flash, she was sobbing and screaming again. Back in her straight jacket and wheel chair, shooting blue fire out of her mouth (which the doctor barely dodged).

"What the- Okay, you know what? GET OUT. GUARDS! TAKE HER AWAY!" Whickerman demanded as the guards rolled the screaming girl out of the room.

"Screaming,demented,rapping, World of Warcraft, crazy ass bitch.." The doctor mumbled to himself as he checked Azula's name of the name list.

"NEXT!" He shouted and mere seconds later a girl with an extremely long braid and a pink outfit came cartwheeling in.

"Hi! I'm Ty lee!" She said in a voice that reminded him of Valley Girl or Barbie.

"Right, have a seat Ty Lee." He motioned to the chair next to him and she happily sat in it.

* * *

_**Ty Lee**_

"So, Ty Lee, what are some things that make you happy?" Whickerman began.

"Pink!"

"Anything else?"

"Roses."

"Wonderful, now, who do you consider to be your friends?"

"Daisies."

"What?"

"Cauliflower."

"Are you just saying random things?"

Ty Lee dreamily sighed "Ah,...Bananas..."

The doctor blinked before calling to guards. "Yeah...get her out of here." And with that, the long-haired girl was gone. And the doctor was happy that had gone fairly well. As soon as he checked her name off the clip board, he called for the next person he would have to 'help'.

"NEXT!"

Almost instantly, an elegant girl walked in. Her robes were a deep scarlet and her hair was black and long. Her dark brown eyes looked expectant, but over-all her face expressed _supreme_ boredom.

* * *

_**Mai**_

"Hello there, what is your name?" Whickerman asked. Hoping this girl would be simple and less aggravating then the other two.

"Mai." The girl said simply.

"Mai, what are your hobbies?" He asked.

"Knife throwing."

"Okay..." the doctor scribbled on his clip board.

"What makes you happy?"

"Nothing. I hate everything."

"Is there anything you _don't _hate?"

"Zuko."

"Ah, yes, who is Zuko to you?"

"My angsty emo boyfriend."

"Alright then. Mai what do you do on your free time?"

"Knife throwing. Kissing Zuko."

"Anything else?"

"Knife throwing. Kissing Zuko."

The doctor sighed, "_Besides_ knife throwing and kissing Zuko."

Mai sighed and rolled her eyes, "Throwing knives, making out with Zuko."

"Good lord...get her out of here."

And with that, the gloomy girl was out. Not before she pinned him to the wall with her knives.

With an exasperated sigh, he called for the next person. "NEXT!"

Then a tall, dark-haired man walked in the room. He looked weak and tired. Like all the strength had been drained out of him. However, the cold glare he was shooting the doctor's way said another thing.

With a heavy sigh the doctor asked, "Who are you, sir?"

"_I_...am the _Phoenix King."_

* * *

_**Ozai**_

"Sorry, but there is no 'Phoenix King' on this list." the doctor said as he looked over Danyella's list of names.

The 'Phoenix King' glare was colder as he mumbled unhappily "My name is Ozai..."

"Ah, Ozai, here we go." He said as he checked his name off the list.

"Now, Ozai, what happened to make you look so..._tired_." Whickerman said trying to find a nice way to put it.

"The Avatar defeated me..." He mumbled angrily. Already annoyed with this doctor person.

"Really? The little 12-year-old beat you?"

"Oh , so you mocking me now? You mocking me? That's how you feel home dog? You wanna go there?"

"Wait, what?"

"Think you the shit with your little lab coat and your stupid ass clipboard and your glasses. Think you big pimpin'? Think you the shit? Think you the baddest bitch out there? Well no, sorry boo boo you ain't the baddest." Ozai said flipping his hair.

"You. Ain't. Shit. Boo. Boo." the defeated man said. Clapping his hands with every word.

"Get out."

"I leave on my own terms."Ozai said with another flick of his long black hair.

"Guards!"

"Alright, Alright, chill dude I'm out. Take it easy, man."

And with that , the Phoenix King exited the room. The doctor didn't even have to call for the next person because instantly a white-haired man stepped in the room. He wore green and yellow and seemed to have an arm full of...cabbages?

"Hello, there , sir." the man said. The doctor smiled. Maybe he has gotten someone normal.

"Hi there. My name is Doctor Whickerman. And you are?"

"The Cabbage Merchant."

* * *

_**The Cabbage Merchant**_

"Okay, 'the Cabbage Merchant', would you mind telling my why you're here?"

The merchant's eyes hardened as thought about the blasted kids who had ruined his precious cabbages time and time again.

"Those kids...those stupid meddling kids! It's their fault my precious babies were ruined!" he complained as he cuddled his cabbages closer.

"Right, well, why do you love cabbages so much?" the doctor asked as he took one from the merchant's hands.

The cabbage merchant watched in horror as Whickerman took a bite out of his beloved.

"MY CABBAGE." In an instant, he was strangling the poor, confused doctor. The guards came and pried him away from the chocking, gasping, doctor.

"My baby...my poor, poor baby." The cabbage merchant sobbed as the guards pushed him out the room.

Before Whickerman good even adjust himself, a girl in a green uniform and black, red, and white face paint came in the room. She had auburn hair cut very short and purple-ish eyes.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Suki. Leader of the Kyoshi Warriors!"

* * *

**A/N: I hope you guys liked it! I will be posting next chapter soon, so don't forget about that! Even though my updating habits are horrible. Once again, sorry if you didn't find it funny. It's my sad attempt at humor. **

**And if you didn't get it, here is a list of why the Avatar character's need Jesus.**

**Azula-Insanity**

**Ty Lee-Stupidity**

**Mai-Boredom**

**Ozai- Power Crazy/Ghetto/Ratchet**

**The Cabbage Merchant- Obession**

**Suki-You'll find out soon!**

**Thanks for reading guys! I'm Danyella413, and I'll see you next time!**


End file.
